1. The clothes are too small
Most of the time it’s a real pain in the ass to find a top that fits me. It’s a real nightmare. I have the choice between a slim fitted T-shirt, with sleeves that are too short, or an XXXXL plastic bag with a good length of arm. When will the the big retail shops change their body standards? HELLO! We’re not in medieval times anymore – people do reach 1m80 pretty easily.
2. At concerts, people pissed me off (and I pissed them off too)
At concerts, one of the things I hate the most is just because I am tall, people think I should always go to the back. Well guess what: if I am taking a day off and spent all day waiting to be in the front row, you can just do the same instead of always tapping me on the shoulders and complaining, “I can’t see, can I get in front of you.”
In that case everyone is smaller than me and should get in front of me. That’s not fair at all. I pay the same price as you and I’ve been waiting for hours too. Why should I leave my place?
3. Flying things always end up in my face
I don’t really like demonstrations or any overly crowded places outside. I am convinced that every time I go, there will be a bottle or a ball flying in the air and it’s going to end up hitting me on the head.
4. Chandeliers too
I always have to been careful when entering a new friend’s house, or just a new location in general, since I’ve already broken a few lamps. I won’t even go into detail about “underground“ clubs where my head touches the ceiling constantly.
5. Can’t go to the cellar
Every time I go into the cellar I need to be more careful than ever.
5. I don’t fit the bed
On sleepovers or holidays trips I feel so happy to finally get into bed, only to find out that 95% of the time my feet hang over the edge.
6. I am just a landmark in the landscape
When I get to the club, I am sure to lose all my people in the crowd, but fair enough: they don’t have any excuses to lose me.
7. Can’t put my head under the shower
I can’t even enjoy a nice shower most of the time. I can’t pull the shower head directly over me since it doesn’t extend past my chest.
8. Don’t fit the bathtub either
Just had a really rough day, was thinking about going home and enjoying a nice bath, #NOTTODAYSATAN, because I just don’t fit the bath tub. Let’s stay in the bathroom please.
9. The sink is too low
Every time I want to reach the sink, I have to bend down, BEND DOOOOOWN.
10. I don’t fit in the car
I don’t have my driving license, and to be honest it’s not a big deal as I know that my knee will touch the steering wheel and that I will have to bend my neck at 90° to fit inside.
11. People want to murder me with their umbrella
Every time it’s raining, I better be careful not to become blind from all the umbrellas directly at my eyes level. So I need to move like a ninja to stay safe.
12. Can’t see my face in the mirror (that’s a good thing tho)
One of the good points though, is that I don’t have to deal with my face reflection constantly as every single mirror is too low.
13. Leave me alone
And for the last time. NO I AM NOT A BASKETBALL PLAYER. #tallguyproblems
Text: Nicolas Simoneau. KALTBLUT Magazine.